humor

It’s Just a Joke! Feel Free to Laff!

The best…….er………blast seat in the house!
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Hello everyone! Today is Monday, April 8, 2013 and it is a gorgeous day in Denver. If you are here, you’d better enjoy it quick because tonight brings snow and cold back. Tomorrow’s high is expected to reach a smoldering 26 degrees! That’s quite a shocker since we have been getting accustomed to the 70’s and *80’s.

Well, enough of the weather. How was your weekend? Did you do anything? Go anywhere? Buy something new?

I did. I went on an excursion to the wild frontier of Walmart. You should have seen the creatures I saw there.

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Well, I didn’t actually see these people. These are some pictures of people taken at various Walmart’s and posted on a site called People of Walmart They’re fun to look at, but for how much longer? Americas is a nation of people that get their feelings hurt way too easily.

We used to joke about a lot of things, yes, people included, that we don’t dare do anymore for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. My motto is and always has been, “sticks and stones my break my bones but words will NEVER hurt me.” Is that even taught anymore? When we were children, that phrase helped us to understand that WE WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A JOKE AND NOT GET OFFENDED BY IT. Our generation has produced a whole bunch of humor and comedians.

In fact, I used to aspire to become a comedian myself, but never did follow through with it. Unless you look at my picture and understand the hilarity of my face. Go on! Make me the butt of your joke. I think it is funny and if it’s not funny it is only because you aren’t a funny guy or gal yourself.

We learned a lot about comic timing when I was growing up and understand that a joke is only funny because of the way it is presented. Like this funny guy in the last picture He’s having a ball because he knows that he is making people laugh.

But how long will it be before this generation is gone and nobody appreciates humor anymore? Will these “Walmart People” finally be recognized as a race of their own and become offended at the jokes to the point where you could even be fired or sued for finding this stuff funny?

Two pollocks were walking in the woods when they came across a sheep with it’s head stuck in a fence.

The one pulls down his pants & does the sheep.

Then he turns to his buddy and said, “Ok it’s your turn.”

So his buddy sticks his head in the fence.

Okay, you smiled! You might have even laughed a little. It wasn’t hilarious but it was humorous. So, tell me, did your get the humor? or did you choose to be offended somehow?

Grow some backbone, people! Men! Let your balls drop! Women! Stop it with the holier than thou attitude! It was only a joke. Laugh a little. It will make your day lighter and you happier.

Okay, so I was in Walmart What did I buy? Please laugh at this if you wish. I promise to not be offended. I think it is funny too.

I bought my first walker. It’s a rollator actually. One of those with 4 wheels and a seat in the middle of it.

Okay, I was going to post a funny picture of someone who is using a walker but it appears this territory is open to humor. I can’t find any funny pictures of people using walkers or rollators (which is what I bought) by doing a search on Google. So, there you go. Here’s an area that can be exploited for humor. After all, it is largely my generation who is moving into this area and we like funny.

A man was dancing closely with his new girl friend when she said, “Ooo! Is that your walker or are you just happy to see me?”

There you go! I’ve started it, although it is an old joke reworked a little, but let the jokes begin. Try your own wit and see what you can come up with. Remember, it is an open field so try it. I promise to not be offended, but be tasteful.

My Computer Has More Hair Than I DO!

Well, that tears it!  Makes me wonder why I even try.  Here I was writing some poetry for this blog.  I was just in the third stanza so I haven’t saved it yet and Word decides it doesn’t want to play anymore.

So, being an aging mind I can’t recall all I had written.  Granted, this was a freak accident that may never happen again.  But the reason I have a computer is to remind me of things I can’t remember.   For example, writing poems or stories.  When I am writing my mind tends to wander just as it does whenever I am doing anything at all.  I can keep my attention as long as I can look at what I just wrote.  It enables me to remain in the moment and stay on track.  Just like I am doing right now.

When I was a younger man and had more hair that was never a problem for me.  I was able to concentrate on multiple things at a time and not lose my train of thought.  Hey! I think I’ve just made scientific breakthrough!   Stay with me here.  When we are younger, we have lots of nice healthy looking hair and we are able to learn.  But as we age, the hair thins or just plain falls out.  It loses its silkiness and just goes off into hair heaven.

Now you have to put on your imagination cap, if for no other reason than to cover up that bald spot, and consider this.  What if the amount of knowledge t hat you are able to access is directly related to the number of active hair follicles that are on your head.  Think about this, if you are still able.  We often hear that the brain is akin to a computer.  So, how?  Well, maybe the brain works like a motherboard with a built in processor.  When you search for something on your computer you type in what you are looking for, the processor finds where it is and brings it to your computer screen.  Now where does the processor find just the right stuff?  Most likely it is saved somewhere on your hard drive.   However, if you don’t have enough RAM, the computer can’t deliver it to you.

So let’s say that the human brain is your processor that locates your saved information and puts in on display as an image in your mind.  While it may be true that we only use 5% of our brain, it may be that we actually use a much bigger percentage but find ourselves unable to access most of the stuff we know because we don’t have enough RAM to allow that.  Why?  Well, at some point in our lives we have attained so much knowledge it is unreal.  Is it still there?  I think so.  Then why can’t I access it?  The answer is Random Access Memory, or RAM.  We don’t have as much as we used too.  Well, what happened to it?  Consider this.  RAM on humans is represented by active hair follicles.  As the follicle dies, the hair falls out and things we before were able to recollect with the snap of a finger, now takes a while because there is not enough RAM to handle everything you have going on at the moment.  Your hair could be available RAM.  Therefore, as your hair goes, so does your memory.

There. I’ve solved the age old mystery about memory and hair loss.   If you don’t want to lose your mind, then take good care of your hair.   Have a nice day. 🙂