Gotham City

Superhero Dilemna’s

Good Friday, everybody!  The weekend is just hours away, so start wearing your weekend fun time faces now.  It has been a long grueling, unrewarding week for many of you, maybe all of you, but I hope not.  I truly hope that you’ve all had a good week.  If you are one of the many whose week has been awesome, then do as I do.  Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.  Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around.

What did you ask, Sharon?  The answer is no, you don’t need to be naked to do this.  It is truly optional.  Just because I do the hokey pokey au naturel  doesn’t make it a requirement for all of you.  If you would rather not look while I shake it all about  that’s just fine.  Do what you want.  After all, that’s what it’s all about!

So, this thought came to me just as I was crawling into bed last night.  It seemed so funny to me that I couldn’t forget about it all night and today I am sharing it with you fine people.  I often like to say something that is either funny or just weird to my wife, before I lay down, to help her forget about the pressures she has endured during the day.  I had this thought but didn’t share it with her because I knew it would possibly require a lengthy conversation and that would tend to spoil the joke if it were told late at night when her funny bone may already be asleep.

Sometimes I pretend to be a well-known superhero, like Superman, and I’ll say something like “If you wake during the night and find me not here beside you, it will be because I am battling Lex Luther and his minions somewhere in the stratosphere.”

So last night, I was trying to come up with something to say and the thought of the bat-signal came to mind.  And what would be funny about that?  Then I thought, if batman is asleep how can the bat-signal wake him to save Gotham City?  So, I considered something audible, like the screeching sound of a bat itself,  that would accompany the flashing of the bat-signal and continue until batman is in the Bat-mobile   That would work, I thought.

Then it came to me!  This can be a topic for discussion.  What happens when the bat-signal is flashing and the screeching sound of the bat that accompanies it is screeching into the night for everyone to try to hide from, and Batman is sitting, constipated on the toilet?  Or worse, having a bout with diarhea?  Would Batman be able to arrive in time to save the day?   Would he be able to put what he is doing on hold so that he could don his Batman attire and race off into the night in the Bat-mobile to fight the Penquin?  Or would the bat-toilet take flight with Batman aboard and when it gets above the evil doers, would it incorporate the power of the bat-flush to subdue them?  Would Robin clean up the mess?  Is that even in his job description?   And if he knew this before hand, why did he takes this job?  Is Robin really into this kind of kinky shit?

Better yet, and this would surely apply if Batman were constipated, while he fights the Penquin, Catwoman, The Joker, etc. and all their henchmen, would he be able to utilize his new weapon which was developed just for situations like this, the Bat-fart, to subdue these criminals?  And what would that do to the air quality of Gotham City?  How would that effect their tourism industry?

I tend to believe that such a weapon would surely give Batman the upper hand.  Robin, not so much.  Tourism?  Why would anyone in their right minds want to visit Gotham City?