Good Wednesday to you all! I trust everything is warm and toasty wherever you are. Over here, in the Diapthalmic Quadrant of the Minervian Galaxy, it is chilly at best. The surprise of a white particle storm rolled in a few nights ago and now we are cloaked in an overlay of this stuff. Somehow, it transmits cold air and seems to be able to chill the surface of our beings. I am told that if one is subjected to its influence long enough the chill will go straight into our support structures. I believe you earthlings call that your bones.
Attention! All ye who are blessed with super-human powers! Hear ye! Hear ye! Auditions are being held for a new super-hero for planet earth. Even though the current batch of super-hero’s do have quite a following, there is nothing that represents the times that we currently live in.It has become obvious that evil has overtaken good and now The Collective is more powerful than two locomotives and faster, yes, faster than two horny bunnies. The Collective has yet to attempt to leap a tall building in a single bound but, it is commonly believed that even that would not be an obstacle for them.
For these reasons, we, the Big Brainy Head Guys Who Dress Funny, believe that the current batch of super hero’s are lacking in their abilities to thwart, yes, thwart, the evil force of The Collective.
We, the Big Brainy Head Guys Who Dress Funny, have decided to hold auditions for new Super Hero’s!
All those who believe that they are blessed with super-human powers are welcome to try out. Please understand that since this is of a serious matter, not everyone who auditions can be granted the status of Super Hero. This is not kids soccer and everyone does not receive an MVP trophy.
So, if you feel that you are more powerful than a speeding bullet train, faster, yes faster than two horny bunnies who are procreating while inside a cloning machine and able to leap short and very wide buildings in a single bound, then please come and audition. Our judges are eager to see your talents on display.
Our judges are; Batman, Spiderman, The Green Lantern and Captain America. These have been chosen to serve as judges in the search for a new super-hero because neither of them can boast any super-human powers. Rather, they tend to rely on costumes and other objects to accomplish their feats. All objects which can be purchased at any comic book store. Truly, they are no more effective than Inspector Gadget.
Auditions will be held on Uranugaia 17.3, 267.093. Please pre-register so that we may know how many to expect as lunch will be served in the masticate refectory.