Who’s the Weirdo Now?

funny captions 24 Captions are like a side of ranch... (32 photos)


Good Wednesday to you all!  I don’t know what I must be thinking.  Today is Thursday and I hope you are all having a good day!  Good Thursday to everyone!


Today I am functioning on 4 hours of sleep.  Normally I stay asleep until I decide to wake up, but today I had to be up early so that my sewer line could be replaced.  So, I have been up since 7:30 this morning.  That is when my alarm iPhone started doing its thang.  At first I thought it was someone else’ alarm that no none seemed to hear except for me.  After about 5 – 10 minutes of listening to the noise I decided to find out where it was all emanating from.  (I know.  Bad grammar, but who cares?  It’s my blog and I can say whatever I want.)


So, I looked around and found that it was my alarm and it was there to intentionally wake me.  I set it to do just that last night, but why?  Why did I do that?  Why did I do that?  “Ooh!  Mr. Kotter! Mr. Kotter!”  I said.  “I must have eaten something that induces stupidity the night before and forces a person to write lame jokes like this one.”


Well, that may be, but I did have to get up to greet the contractor’s.  So, all day long they have been destroying my back yard with a backhoe and my patio now have a large section of concrete missing.  This is an old house and was built over 100 years ago.  So I watched carefully as they dug up the yard and found Jimmy Hoffa buried underneath my patio.  It was a gruesome find.  The backhoe is not a delicate instrument at all.  It was weird too, the position of the skeleton.  Both of his hands were covering his groin area and his mouth was agape as if to have been screaming because we were able to gaze upon, and make fun of his naked and skinless body.


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Okay, everything I’ve said is true; except for the part about Jimmy Hoffa.  He wasn’t there either.  I have no idea where he and Waldo are.   They are probably hanging out somewhere on Earth with Carmen Santiago.  I think that she and Jimmy were pretty close.


Anyway, so they are digging up my yard.  Maybe all this digging will cause a sinkhole to open underneath the entire house and we will be caught in a landslide that goes down many thousands of feet.  Then I will have a house with a view of a great underground spring that empties into a lake that had formed under the surface.  Probably not.


I was thinking.  I‘m  no professional thinker, meaning I have no license to think legally,especially out loud, so my best of thoughts are a little suspect.  Watch your step as you enter.  There is no telling where your foot will land.  A disclaimer; there was no bat guano used in the creation of this paradise.  There are dogs, however, so don’t go around barefoot.  Unless you are into that sort of thing.  You weirdo.

funny captions 25 Captions are like a side of ranch... (32 photos)