AAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!! Why Do They Have To Be SOOO STUPID??

Hi friends.  I hope that all is going just swell in your life and that you are away from fire danger, the sun is shining and the temperature is somewhere in the mid 60’s.  
It’s not like that here.  It seems that most of Colorado is on fire, the temps are 90’s to 100’s.  The sun is shining though, but those people that are wearing flames for clothing would really appreciate some rain.
If you’ll remember, about a year ago, in this very blog, I proposed that there should be an agency of the federal government whose job it is to stop wildfires in their tracks and before they engulf into gargantuan flaming acreage.  I think our governor must have read it and it caused a light to go off in his head, because I remember hearing on the tv news a few days ago that he is looking into setting up some kind of regional organization whose sole responsibility will be to stop the wildfires. We will see……….
Anyway, today I am in the market for tires for my wife’s Nazi car (a 2009 VW Beetle).  There are only two good things about this car; 1) it starts regularly, and 2) it will be paid for in a month.  Other than those two things, this car was not built for humans and now it needs tires.  I won’t go to the dealer to buy them either.  No particular reason, I just don’t like this German engineering.
So, I’ve been looking online for deals on tires.  The lower the price the better.  I’ve looked at all the usual websites; Walmart, Discount Tires, Big O Tires, Pep Boys and the beat goes on.  The best deal I’ve found so far is with Firestone (hopefully they will see this plug and give me a set of new tires).
Then I got curious about this little place near me that sells Mastercraft tires.  So, I read several reviews about them and they were all glowing, so much so that I had to wear shades.  I then looked up where to buy them in Denver and guess what I found out?  There are several dealers in town but when I looked for prices, there was a button to click to request a quote.  AAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
Don’t they have enough sense to know that that is why I visited their website in the first place?  If I have to beg you for a price, guess what?  I’M NOT GOING TO BUY YOUR SHIT!!
Making someone jump thru hoops just to learn your price is disrespectful to the customer and dishonest.  Why must it be a secret?  Are you ashamed of what you do?  Aren’t you in business to make money?  I didn’t have to travel to your website, but I did.  Don’t you think you should thank me by simply telling me what’s what and not make me jump thru hoops?  It’s a price for a tire!!  Post it on your website or else!
I literally arrived at your site because I am a serious shopper in need of the services that you offer.  I am looking for a price!  Instead I have to request a quote?  That’s like seeing you in person for the first time and when I ask you for the price, you look at me, with toothpick hanging from your lower lip and replying, “How much you got?”
Well, since you insist on doing this type of dishonest business, guess what else?  FIRESTONE WINS!!  I wonder how many times you have experienced defeat such as this.  

JUST TELL ME YOUR FRIGGIN’ PRICE!!!

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Great Father’s Day!

Hello to all my readers and if you are a papa, Happy Fathers’s Day to you!  I trust you have had a great day and were able to spend time with your dearest family member’s, your children (if you have any).  If your children are grown, out of the house and working on their own families, like mine are, then they are still your babies and I hope you were fortunate enough to spend some time with them this weekend.

However, if you have yet to start your own child raising experience, you have a lot to get ready for.  You also have a father that needs to know you love him, so, please remember him today, even if you can’t see him.

I was very fortunate this week.  I have two grown son’s who do have their own families and both of them made a special trip to Denver to see me this year. They were here for a whole week and it was wonderful.  We were able to spend a lot of time with my son’s and their entire families; i.e. The grand kids.  They were all beautiful, smart and a bunch of fun to spend time with.  If they didn’t look like me I would have to wonder if they really developed from my genes.  But they are mine and I am very proud of them!

Taylor, Jessica, Jonathon and Shannon are their names and each is wonderful.  I love them all so much and am eager to see what they will become.  I’m sure that you will all be amazed!

Today, however, they have all returned to their homes in Arkansas and California.  What have I done to celebrate the day?  Absolutely nothing.  Rest is the order of the day and this, too, is amazing and oh, so enjoyable.

I hope you have all been as fortunate as I (or is it me?) today, this week, this summer and every day.  To those who have been affected by and suffered loss from the wildfires in Colorado, I have you in my prayers and am asking for your safety.   God bless each of you.

Look Me in the Eyes…Now Do as I Say!

For those of you who do not know,  my wife is the bread winner in this house because I am on disability because of a stroke I had and at which time they discovered that I have Multiple Sclerosis.  So I am a house husband now that writes when I feel like I can maintain a thought.  Therefore, it falls on me to keep the house presentable.

 

I’ve struggled a bit lately with the being able to maintain a thought, that is long enough to write it down, and have not been as attentive to the blog or my next novel.  I am having a bit more trouble with this story than I have before because of the subject matter I have taken on.  I am still searching for an audience and so far I have written an action packed love story, Rescue of the Heart, and a spy novel, The Thorium Endeavor. Neither of which seem to be flying off the shelves, so I thought that this time I would try something with a serial killer.  The working title is Holding Her and is still very early in the developmental stage.  It will be a while before this is ready for public consumption, but don’t forget about it.  

 

In the meantime, let me just mention that if you have not yet read either Rescue of the Heart or  The Thorium Endeavor, both written be me, Joel Wilson, please do.  Both are available as an ebook for Kindle or in print at Amazon.com.  It is also available for the Nook at Barnes&Noble.com.

 

 

I am looking forward to this summer and all it will bring.  The first thing it will bring is my wife’s retirement from teaching with the Denver Public Schools.  Sitting still is going to be a big adjustment for her, but I am here to help her adjust.

 

The second thing coming my way this summer is my children and their families are coming for a visit.  It will be an all at once attack and I am anxious to see them all.  It’s been years.

 

After that, my wife and I may take a driving vacation to see different parts of this country.  If that happens, I’ll let you know where we will be and when.  I would love to meet you all.

 

Until then, I hope you enjoy your summer!  Keep checking back for new posts and updates.

Not a Fan of the Dark Side

I am not afraid of the dark side, nor am I a fan of it.  I prefer a world with no dark side, however I have to accept the fact that our world has a deathly shadow cast over it

.

I am not commenting on the tragedy in Boston and Waco, except to say both are tragic events that took lives and could probably have been avoided.  But that was then and this is now and i want to tell the victims and families of both that I am very sorry for their loss and that this kind of thing would even happen.

 

I am currently working on a third novel that I am having second thoughts about.  I know that I am an author in search of readership and therefore have yet to settle on any specific genre.  My first novel, Rescue of the Heart is an action packed love story.  The second, The Thorium Endeavor is a story of  espionage and introduces Agent 355 as a female assassin.  This third novel, whose working title is Holding Her,  is going to be about a serial killer who has a dark side that overtakes him and makes him do really bad things.

 

I have to wonder if there truly is a market for such a story though.  Granted, Agent 355 in The Thoirum Endeavor, does do some pretty gruesome assassination’s but it is a story of good taking the fight to evil and quashing it.  I am actually considering a sequel to this story.

 

I know that the devil is real and accomplishes his work through the use of people who are mostly weak minded and lacking in faith in God.  He is super conniving and bent on destroying all things right and good.  I do believe that is why we have so many bad things happening in our world, today. One day that will all be corrected when Jesus returns and throws satan in the incinerator that was built just for him and his cohorts.  Then we can have a world that is fun to live in rather than the fear we that is thrust upon us in  this one.

 

So, I’m unsure about this serial killer genre.  Do I really want my readership to wallow in darkness?  How about if I find a way to shine some light in there?  Maybe create a hero that can overcome this evil and thrash it within an inch of its life?  Hmm, I just might have something there.

 

Thanks for allowing me this counseling session.  I think it has done me some good.  You guys are good!  Ever thought of opening up your own practice?

 

Here is your video funny for the day.  Click the link below.  Trust me, its ok and funny.  I just had trouble copying it to the blog.

 

http://vba.sh/11t2sN8

 

It’s Just a Joke! Feel Free to Laff!

The best…….er………blast seat in the house!
worst-place-sit-shotgun-dumbest-policeman

Hello everyone! Today is Monday, April 8, 2013 and it is a gorgeous day in Denver. If you are here, you’d better enjoy it quick because tonight brings snow and cold back. Tomorrow’s high is expected to reach a smoldering 26 degrees! That’s quite a shocker since we have been getting accustomed to the 70’s and *80’s.

Well, enough of the weather. How was your weekend? Did you do anything? Go anywhere? Buy something new?

I did. I went on an excursion to the wild frontier of Walmart. You should have seen the creatures I saw there.

wal_mart_24 (1)
wal_mart_25
wal_mart_60

Well, I didn’t actually see these people. These are some pictures of people taken at various Walmart’s and posted on a site called People of Walmart They’re fun to look at, but for how much longer? Americas is a nation of people that get their feelings hurt way too easily.

We used to joke about a lot of things, yes, people included, that we don’t dare do anymore for fear of hurting someone’s feelings. My motto is and always has been, “sticks and stones my break my bones but words will NEVER hurt me.” Is that even taught anymore? When we were children, that phrase helped us to understand that WE WERE STRONG ENOUGH TO TAKE A JOKE AND NOT GET OFFENDED BY IT. Our generation has produced a whole bunch of humor and comedians.

In fact, I used to aspire to become a comedian myself, but never did follow through with it. Unless you look at my picture and understand the hilarity of my face. Go on! Make me the butt of your joke. I think it is funny and if it’s not funny it is only because you aren’t a funny guy or gal yourself.

We learned a lot about comic timing when I was growing up and understand that a joke is only funny because of the way it is presented. Like this funny guy in the last picture He’s having a ball because he knows that he is making people laugh.

But how long will it be before this generation is gone and nobody appreciates humor anymore? Will these “Walmart People” finally be recognized as a race of their own and become offended at the jokes to the point where you could even be fired or sued for finding this stuff funny?

Two pollocks were walking in the woods when they came across a sheep with it’s head stuck in a fence.

The one pulls down his pants & does the sheep.

Then he turns to his buddy and said, “Ok it’s your turn.”

So his buddy sticks his head in the fence.

Okay, you smiled! You might have even laughed a little. It wasn’t hilarious but it was humorous. So, tell me, did your get the humor? or did you choose to be offended somehow?

Grow some backbone, people! Men! Let your balls drop! Women! Stop it with the holier than thou attitude! It was only a joke. Laugh a little. It will make your day lighter and you happier.

Okay, so I was in Walmart What did I buy? Please laugh at this if you wish. I promise to not be offended. I think it is funny too.

I bought my first walker. It’s a rollator actually. One of those with 4 wheels and a seat in the middle of it.

Okay, I was going to post a funny picture of someone who is using a walker but it appears this territory is open to humor. I can’t find any funny pictures of people using walkers or rollators (which is what I bought) by doing a search on Google. So, there you go. Here’s an area that can be exploited for humor. After all, it is largely my generation who is moving into this area and we like funny.

A man was dancing closely with his new girl friend when she said, “Ooo! Is that your walker or are you just happy to see me?”

There you go! I’ve started it, although it is an old joke reworked a little, but let the jokes begin. Try your own wit and see what you can come up with. Remember, it is an open field so try it. I promise to not be offended, but be tasteful.

Free at Last! Free at Last!!……Well, Cheaper Anyway.

(Please notice….I have lost my mind! I don’t know where it is either, but if you want to view the video’s here you need to go to my mirrored site, Consider This…Imagine That, which is on blogspot.com. For some reason I am unable to make the video links here on WordPress active, but they work at the other site. I apologize for the frustration this may cause. Please check out the mirror site at http://considerthisimaginethat.blogspot.com and enjoy the video’s.)

Good morning, all! I hope you are all doing well on this fine day. The weather is nice in Denver today. Mostly sunny and temps in the upper 60’s are predicted for this afternoon.

I am up early this morning. I was awokened (?) at 7:30 this morning by a phone call from the installers that are installing Dish TV for me today. I know that many of you had to work the graveyard shift and many, too, was up much earlier than me. However, this is early for me since I am retired and have MS. I tend to sleep later in the day and it takes me a while to get to sleep at night. I’m sure that to some extent, my late sleeping has become an acquired taste over time and I have to say that I do enjoy it. Still, today I have to be up for the installers to do their job.

Finally! I am cutting the cord with cable tv and moving my business to the dish! Comcast has gotten way too expensive and now that I am on a fixed income, it is completely unaffordable. Enter the Dish. This afternoon I will have free HD on two tv’s, a DVR recorder that works on both tv sets and many more channels to not watch than Comcast has to offer. I can’t wait!

Today is also a special day in that it is also my lovely wife’s birthday. Today she is 29 years old and is more beautiful than the first moment I saw her. Happy birthday, baby!

So I called Comcast to get my service downgraded to basic cable so that I can better get my budget inline. I asked them how much my bill would be after the downgrade. They might as well have been the cable company in this video because they said it would only lower my bill by $30 a month. Currently, I am paying $260 a month. So, guess what I got today. That’s right! The Dish! I will be saving $150 a month and I have more programming.

Superhero Dilemna’s

Good Friday, everybody!  The weekend is just hours away, so start wearing your weekend fun time faces now.  It has been a long grueling, unrewarding week for many of you, maybe all of you, but I hope not.  I truly hope that you’ve all had a good week.  If you are one of the many whose week has been awesome, then do as I do.  Put your right foot in, put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about.  Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around.

What did you ask, Sharon?  The answer is no, you don’t need to be naked to do this.  It is truly optional.  Just because I do the hokey pokey au naturel  doesn’t make it a requirement for all of you.  If you would rather not look while I shake it all about  that’s just fine.  Do what you want.  After all, that’s what it’s all about!

So, this thought came to me just as I was crawling into bed last night.  It seemed so funny to me that I couldn’t forget about it all night and today I am sharing it with you fine people.  I often like to say something that is either funny or just weird to my wife, before I lay down, to help her forget about the pressures she has endured during the day.  I had this thought but didn’t share it with her because I knew it would possibly require a lengthy conversation and that would tend to spoil the joke if it were told late at night when her funny bone may already be asleep.

Sometimes I pretend to be a well-known superhero, like Superman, and I’ll say something like “If you wake during the night and find me not here beside you, it will be because I am battling Lex Luther and his minions somewhere in the stratosphere.”

So last night, I was trying to come up with something to say and the thought of the bat-signal came to mind.  And what would be funny about that?  Then I thought, if batman is asleep how can the bat-signal wake him to save Gotham City?  So, I considered something audible, like the screeching sound of a bat itself,  that would accompany the flashing of the bat-signal and continue until batman is in the Bat-mobile   That would work, I thought.

Then it came to me!  This can be a topic for discussion.  What happens when the bat-signal is flashing and the screeching sound of the bat that accompanies it is screeching into the night for everyone to try to hide from, and Batman is sitting, constipated on the toilet?  Or worse, having a bout with diarhea?  Would Batman be able to arrive in time to save the day?   Would he be able to put what he is doing on hold so that he could don his Batman attire and race off into the night in the Bat-mobile to fight the Penquin?  Or would the bat-toilet take flight with Batman aboard and when it gets above the evil doers, would it incorporate the power of the bat-flush to subdue them?  Would Robin clean up the mess?  Is that even in his job description?   And if he knew this before hand, why did he takes this job?  Is Robin really into this kind of kinky shit?

Better yet, and this would surely apply if Batman were constipated, while he fights the Penquin, Catwoman, The Joker, etc. and all their henchmen, would he be able to utilize his new weapon which was developed just for situations like this, the Bat-fart, to subdue these criminals?  And what would that do to the air quality of Gotham City?  How would that effect their tourism industry?

I tend to believe that such a weapon would surely give Batman the upper hand.  Robin, not so much.  Tourism?  Why would anyone in their right minds want to visit Gotham City?

This Reeaally Chaps My Hide!

Hi there to all my superfans!  I hope you are having a great day and really enjoying this week, cause it is awesome!


I say that, all the while knowing that my elected leaders are not leading us down the wrong path; they are just not leading us, period.  Most likely, that bunch of miscreants will not avoid the sequester and on March 1 we will all have to learn Chinese.  Why is that going to happen, you ask?  Well Charlie, Lucy, Patti and Linus, it will happen because we educated the wrong people.  


It is not likely that any of our politicians paid their own way through college.  I’m sure that at least some, if not all of them, received a grant or were given scholarships at our expense just so that they would one day get elected to office under the guise that they really cared about us; the people who paid for that education, voted for them to get into said office and make the world a better place to live. (Deep breath!)


That is all well and good except for one thing;  they don’t give a f@#$ about us or this country or anything except for themselves and they are doing a good enough job at it, so much so that if they were working for anyone else in the whole world they would be fired!  


There should be an amendment to the constitution that allows us, the people to do just that if any of our elected officials are not performing duties as they should.  There should be a quarterly court of justice where they should have to give an accounting of what they’ve done and why they did or did not do something. That quarterly court of justice should be populated with 12 people from their own constituency; 4 people from lower tax brackets (including the homeless), 4 people from the middle class tax brackets and 4 from the filthy, greedy rich.  Each person will have the same amount of influence.  None will be able to override anothers vote.  No one will have more influence than anyone else.  After the quarterly court of justice has met with the politician, they will meet amongst themselves, discuss and then vote between them as to whether to allow said politician to remain in office.  Their decision would be final.  If the politician is ousted  he/she will have 3 days to vacate the office or be arrested for trespassing.


The time for the little people to rise up and show their numbers is well overdue.  We have been, for far too long, bending over to take it from the wealthy and those in a position of public trust.  This country was founded by the little people and its time we take it back.  


If this group of leaders can’t get their $h!# together and do their jobs, then I say we throw them all out on their ears, accompanied by a good swift kick in the ass.


Do I sound angry?  You’re damn right I am angry!  You should be too.  We’ve stupidly elected a whole bunch of self involved idiots.  


This should be the last straw.  Are you hearing me in Washington, D.C.?   Are you hearing any of us?


I try not to get involved in politics, but this reeaally chaps my hide!

I’ve Done All That I Can

Welcome, my friends!  Today is Wednesday, February 20, 2013 and I have done all that I can to get the new novel, The Thorium Endeavor by Joel Wilson (ME!) out there and available for you all to enjoy.  

 

The book may be ready sometime tonight but I can’t guarantee it.  Amazon, Createspace and Barnes & Noble are at the controls now and I am just waiting on them to do their thing.  If it isn’t ready tonight, it will be tomorrow and I will post the various links on my blogsites and websites as soon as I receive them.  I will also announce the release of The Thorium Endeavor on social websites like Facebook, Twitter, Google+,Chimein, Tumblr and Pinterest then too.  I will list if with Smashwords in the next few days as well. That may turn into a full days work for me, but I will survive and The Thorium Endeavor will be available on Smashwords too.

 

I know that many of you have told me that you are anxiously waiting for it become available and it will be in just a few short breath’s.  Thank you for your encouragement and your patience.  It is my hope that this book will be a big hit and I am certain that with the help of my faithful followers it will.  

 

Please, help me to get the word out to the rest of the web?  I do appreciate each of you very much.  Without you, I would have nothing to write.